So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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