The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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