Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
