Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She bit a glass in half.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
