i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
