Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
