One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
