I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize