i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
oh god the rape fog is back!
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
