i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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