I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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