he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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