beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza