It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way