im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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