you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
sex in a hospital.. check
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
