I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
