She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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