The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
