Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
