It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
