I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
