I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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