haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
