shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
im holly from the hills drunk
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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