Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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