____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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