In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
