How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize