You made me cry and you don't even care
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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