idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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