We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
