Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
