i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
