I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
