Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
