I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
