i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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