You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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