what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
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I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.