Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?