you guys were way drunker than both of me
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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