Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright