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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (917): View more from New York City

  the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move

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• (925): View more from California

  She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (727): View more from Florida

  pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.

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• (707): View more from California

  I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome

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