woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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