I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize