She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
