I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
