Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
