i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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