the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You've changed since you got that strap on
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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