All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
