I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
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His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
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you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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