Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
