Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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