Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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