the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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