I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
