i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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