I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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