Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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