FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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