my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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