real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
